White coat. Heels.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
