Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I would ride that face into the sunset
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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