just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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