Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
