NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
