There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
