Kiss
Puke
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
