omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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