Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
do herpes really smell.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
