Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's the barista slut.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
