That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
