Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
