I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
