If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
