I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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