So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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