My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
