Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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