If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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