do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
