Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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