Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
