Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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