I am midnight drunk by noon
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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