i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
