question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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