The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
