I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
