I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
