is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
