Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
