ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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