she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
