did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
