yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
