Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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