No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
