There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
