i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
