Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You smell like a Billy Joel song
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
