she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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