i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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