I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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