So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
is that a dick in a sweater?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
