the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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