only you would photoshop your dick
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
