im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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