Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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