Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
