And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
