I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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