Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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