Are we in a gay sports bar?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
