i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
