I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
