I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
foreskin is a definite game changer
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize