3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
