So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
