I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
