shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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