Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
