IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
