I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so let's talk penis.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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