so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
