She's JV to your varsity
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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