Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
