My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I fill condoms, not promises.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
