Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
