We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You're a waste of cheezeits
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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