Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
