none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize