Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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