Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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