I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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