Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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