He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's blow job season.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
