I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
