Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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