yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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