Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
